Police in Michigan are flummoxed and frustrated after a theft of nearly a dozen brand new Ram pickups from the Warren Truck Assembly Plant. Like a scene from Gone in 60 Seconds, the ne’er-do-wells are alleged to have crashed freshly manufactured Rams through secured gates before hightailing it south on Mound Road. “This was well-planned,” said Warren Police Commissioner Bill Dwyer, who takes home top honors in today’s Most Obvious Statement competition. The thieves apparently drove to the plant in a 2003 Ram pickup (very considerate of the robbers to stay on brand) they allegedly stole earlier in the day from a residence in Warren. After offloading a dozen or so drivers, someone cut a hole in the plant’s fence to gain yard access. In what must have been a scene from Grand Theft Auto V, the pickups then crashed through a metal gate and took off in a southerly direction. A security guard saw all this go down, calling the cops at 3:55 a.m. while watching in disbelief as factory fresh trucks roared out of the compound. Can’t say I blame the person for their action – armed or not, I wouldn’t have been eager to face off with… Read full this story
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